Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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