What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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