im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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