omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
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