I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Operation Purity has been aborted
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
