had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Panties = found
Randomize
