My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize