my being single is dangerous.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
We're too hungover to prance.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Randomize
