You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
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