so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize