I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
