i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Actions speak louder than pants.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
