hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
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