Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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