we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Liz is crying about burritos again.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
