sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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