3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize