Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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