barbara walters just said penis...
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I have so many feelings about this burrito
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
