Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
