she looked like the bat from fern gully.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
