I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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