i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
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