I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
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