Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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