that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
