Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Randomize
