Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
