I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Randomize
