sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Randomize
