I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
My underwear smells like fireworks.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
