textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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