...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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