I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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