Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
