id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
