Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize