Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
