Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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