I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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