If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Randomize
