did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Randomize
