I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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