God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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