Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
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How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
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I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
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