Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
