How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
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On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
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I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
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