at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Randomize
