think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
