god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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