yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
