Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
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