i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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