I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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