I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
