is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
He told me they were just razor bumps!
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize