I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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