Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
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