Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
