Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Enjoy the penises
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize
